The Tire Changer
Michael Ault


Introduction

It turns out he had altered the path of fate. It was roughly 1220 B.C. and people were still wrapped in furry animal skins and unaware even of the date. The hunters and gatherers would walk past the Open Pit Market (a then 7-11), laughing at Bahr’s post-historic comedic position (in a 1218 kind of way). He was a stone carver; and a wheel dealer. And he didn’t appreciate their bullshit.

Wheels came in many sizes – but only one shape. Anyone aware of wheels would realize this.

He would chizzle stone for hours until his hands cramped like crawfish claws aching, and screaming. In the evening, he would soak his lobster claws in animal fat; he’d then sing tenor/bass range notes to the Giant Stone Goddess. His songs were famous throughout the region but he had no idea his voice was so loud.

The stone was always delivered by the Upward Connection – he would usually grunt this name in a spiteful kind of way. He’d then work on a piece for months, and once during the beginning, it took a year. He was patient and tried to maintain the integrity of the stone. But, The Upward Connection was about units. Or, as they were called in 1220 BC, “Wughs.”

“Locate its hard spots and round the softer ones.” Bahr’s pragmatic voice never said these words but his mind just might have said this if consciousness had already been discovered. Instead, it was his instinct. And for some reason he listened to it.

Repetitively.

Like his crudely made chisel that smacked stone almost 12 hours a day, he was largely a creature of habit. His trade would later be advanced on Petra’s red-earth-face, some 1000 years later, but at this point the technique was still being developed.